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THESE QUOTES ARE TAKEN FROM REAL CVs AND COVER LETTERS!
- Note: please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have
never quit a job.
- Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get
to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
- The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
- I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond
to my CV on my office voice mail.
- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training
in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
- Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
- I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
- Received a plaque for Salesperson of the year.
- Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
- Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
- Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
- Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.
- Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
- I was working for my mom before she decided to move.
THESE QUOTES WERE TAKEN FROM ACTUAL PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS:
- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
- This associate is really not so much as a has-been, but more of a
definitely won't be.
- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat
in a trap.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- He sets low personal goals and then consistently fails to achieve
them.
- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
- This employee should go far and the sooner he goes the better.
- He would argue with a signpost.
- He has a knack of making strangers immediately.
- He and the CEO have something in common. They've both gone as far as they can in this company.
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